The Versatile Husband

Thursday, 25 April 2013

MMF Threesome: Bi Husband, Wife & Male Friend Have Sex

You’re bi-curious, probably even call yourself bisexual. You’ve introduced the idea of you and your wife going off to a swingers club in order to spice up your failing married sex life. It would be something that you could do together. You figure that if she gets to play with other men that she might get her mojo back. All the while you get to not only watch her having sexual fun but you get to experience further aspects of your own bisexually curious nature with other husbands. That means no guilt because each of you is exploring your own natural curiosities.

Unfortunately the swinger club idea dies – “I couldn’t have sex with a stranger – and certainly not in front of other people.” “What about STIs and other diseases?” “Do they always use condoms?” “What if I knew somebody?” etc.

Whilst these are expected reactions it’s been my experience that in fact more wives than you might consider like the idea of adding a trusted male friend into the confines of the marital bed if only occasionally. A known friend seems to lower the threat of damage to her image of her marriage and of her own morality. Similarly when on vacation when a spontaneous threesome occurs with a total stranger, that stranger is perceived to be of no threat.

When discussed beforehand between husband and wife, and then between husband and friend, it becomes a more natural event. Of course the friend should also be bisexual or at least bi-curious.

Once agreed, every one knows in advance what is going to happen, so all that is needed is to set the date and the place. That means no kids, no opportunity for unexpected drop-in neighbours and no time limits. The night is for the three of you to be as anxiety free as possible and to be totally pleasured for as long and as frequently as you all desire. There’s nothing better than all three sleepily waking up together and having another round or two. A weekend away at an isolated retreat might be just the place.

Image:www.publicdomainpictures.net

Alcohol mixed with chatty conversation is good for lowering any anxiety. Add fondling time in a spa or under a shower, a warmed bedroom, some aromatic candles (include patchouli or ylang ylang as these are both good erotic aphrodisiacs), some sex toys, some amyl if this doesn’t conflict with medications, condoms if you plan to use them and if it has been approved of, a camera to record some of the highlights. Don’t worry about playing DVD porn in the bedroom – it’s not needed as the three of you will be making your own erotic intensity.

The combinations for enjoyment are many and may include

- kissing

- fondling

- oral involving wife on friend, husband on friend

- eating out the wife whilst the other man gets a blow job from her

- voyeuring as your wife and friend pleasure each other

- filming as your wife is taken by your friend

- your wife becomes the sexual meat-in-the-sandwich between her two men

- having your friend blow you whilst your wife plays with her toys

- watch her face and sense her excitement as your friend f**ks you

- and again later in the night as you f**k him while she films you both

- after the first two rounds sleep for a while and then begin all over again

- have champagne for breakfast

This is a favourable way to have action with another guy within the extended parameters of the marital bed. She will appreciate the touch of romance of it all as this will help lower any guilt or opposition she might carry in to this first foray about it being dirty, morally wrong or threatening. If the event happens spontaneously with a stranger without the romantic overlay in place you both may need to have a deeper talk about future possibilities – but do this after your man has departed. The stranger doesn’t need to be part of your marriage plans as after all he was just with you both for some good bi-curious fun. Chances are he has his own marital issues to sort out when he goes home.

Whether you have additional times with another man in the marital bed will depend on many factors. Perhaps the greatest benefit will be the opening of dialogue between you and your wife about your sexual needs, and the fact that they include men. It may be just the turning point that reinvigorates your sex life at home or it may be time for your wife to say I’m really not interested in sex or playing with strangers but why don’t you go out and have some fun with men. Don’t bring them home, play safe and don’t tell me anything about your exploits.

Sound fanciful? Let me assure you that such scenarios do happen, and much more frequently than you might imagine especially if this is the second marriage for you both.

Disclaimer: All advice and information given here on this blog is general in nature and non-specific to any individual, couple or group. You are encouraged to seek your own independent professional medical, psychological and counselling advice.

A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS: How And Where To Find Your Man

When it is time to have sex with men, you need answers!

Don't f**k up the potentially hottest sex time in your life by not knowing the facts. I'm the ex-married gay man who writes this blog, so I'm sharing my experiences with you in this easy-to-read ebook so that your sex with guys can be brilliant and always available.

It's the best couple of dollars you'll ever invest!

ebook download at:

http://www.amazon.com/Straight-Mans-Guide-Hook-Ups-ebook/dp/B00EUBGNTC/

Everyone can now read Kindle ebooks: If you use an iphone or other smartphone, tablet or computer simply download the FREE app on the Amazon book page next to the Book Description and you'll be up and reading in seconds. Or visit: http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?docId=1000493771

THE VERSATILE HUSBAND: Live Your Passion This is a more comprehensive version of A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS and includes examining why as sexually frustrated men we feel the way we do and what can be done to improve the situation. Particularly useful for any married man who needs more detail before deciding whether or not to sexually play with men.

e-book and paperback at Amazon.com or

paperback only at your favourite online or local bookstore.

http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Peter-Benn/dp/1481099671

"A straightforward, practical guide for men in heterosexual relationships who'd like to explore sex with other men. Frank, honest and understanding."Kirkus Reviews
For a plain unidentifiable eBook cover edition of The Versatile Husband go to: http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Plain-Cover-ebook/dp/B009V5AXEI

TALES FROM THE FUR SIDE: Purrfectly Adorable Cat Stories

A collection of entertaining tall tales, and (possibly) true, from the secret lives of cats - as told by the cats themselves! Mischief. Mayhem. History. Heroism. Revenge and Reflection - this is life as lived on the fur side, beyond the prying eyes of humans – where wisdom, adventure and love mix abundantly with mystery, murder and exotic locations. A treat for everyone who shares their life with a cat.

http://www.amazon.com/Tales-Fur-Side-Purrfectly-Adorable/dp/1490336966/

New to ship cruising? Get helpful tips about onboard procedure, an invaluable Check List as to what you'll need to pack for shore excursions, PLUS details of 25 of the best European and Baltic shore excursions that I've undertaken. Make sure you have the best possible cruise - for all the right reasons.

CRUISE EXCURSIONS: 25 of the Best European Cruise Ship and Baltic Cruise Ship Shore Trips by Peter Benn e-book or paperback

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00AWKAAGW

Friday, 12 April 2013

Frottage: Fun Sex Without Penetration

Photo Courtesy Tumblr

Slip! Slap! Slide! All the fun of a slippery slide for adults and oh so very erotic.

Slip off the clothes.

Slap on the oil, hand lotion or other lubricant.

Slide along and around and over and between your partner's body - and enjoy.

For two men frottage is the sexual act of rubbing their two bodies together to provide mutual pleasure usually without anal penetration but with ejaculation. It can be both foreplay that leads to further action or it can be an end in itself.

As foreplay-only, it’s regarded as a totally safe sex act as there is no penetration. But with so much delicious friction being created there is always the likelihood of penetration happening, whether that is planned or otherwise. It’s difficult to stop to find a condom and therefore unprotected sex can happen. It should also be remembered that even with a condom there is a likelihood of it being rendered ineffectual by the oils or other ingredients you’ve been playing with. To be totally safe, avoid intercourse and simply enjoy the slippery merrymaking you’ve been having.

Frottage can be great fun as a variant to your regular sex romp with your male partner. If for one reason or another anal penetration is out of the question, simply drop more lubricant than usually required around his genital area and begin slipping in your erect penis between his legs every which way you can. Frottage is a special treat as it brings in to play many pleasurable parts of the body including stomach, pecs, lower stomach, groin, penis, balls, perineum and anal area. It’s total body pleasure.

Set Up:

It’s going to get delightfully messy, so plan ahead. If you will be sharing your frot time in a bed (and that’s the easiest and most comfortable place to do it), cover the bottom sheet with towels and slip over the top of them an old fitted sheet that doesn’t matter if it gets soiled with lubricants and cum (such play sheets should be in the cupboard of every sexual host). A plastic under sheet is also great for saving your bed linen from stains.

Lubricants:

It’s essential that your lubricant is long lasting before it begins to dry out. A dry frot session is not much fun, so experiment with various massage oils, hand lotions and water based sexual lubricants to find which one is best for your needs. Also look in the kitchen cupboard for thick ready-made custard, chocolate sauce, cooking oils, etc - as these add an additional taste and viscous nature to the event. You’ll enjoy the laughter and fun that such diverse every day items can bring to your pleasuring. Not every man is going to enjoy being partially covered in chocolate sauce and having it licked off him – but you can be sure it will be a sex session he won’t forget. When using these products forget about penetration as a chocolate filled anal cavity is no fun. If kitchen items are not for you, simply indulge using copious amounts of sexual lubricant.

Personal Preparation:

Body hair and frottage action are not the most compatible of combinations, so if you or your man are hirsute then a shaving session either alone or with each other as a preliminary to bed action is advised. A smooth shaven body makes an amazing runway for erotic lubricated pleasuring and if the pubic hair is also gone from the groin and balls then penis to ball sac action will send you both to pleasure heaven.

Face-to-Face Action:

Smear each torso and genital areas with lubricant. Wrap your arms around each other. Kiss, laugh, slide, slip, lube up some more, use hands to spread the lube, play with his balls, wrap your hand around his shaft and manipulate it, add you shaft and wrap the two together masturbating as a snugly held duo, rub your cock over his nipples, let him taste your sweet lube-covered manhood, plunge your cock between his balls and upper legs and externally f**k him as he grips your shaft with excitement. As you bend over him feel his erect cock slide up and down the valley of your butt cheeks, hold each other and roll around together, perhaps introduce a dildo into your partner’s anus and watch him clench his butt cheeks to hold it in whilst his stomach tightens to give you a hard runway on which to slide. You get the message - and I’m sure your imagination and lust will add many more variations.

Riding A Face-Down Partner:

If one wants or needs to be the only active partner it can be performed with the recipient face down wallowing in the sheer pleasure of his partner’s active cock plunging externally over his anus and between his butt cheeks, along the lower spine, hands spreading the lubricant as if having a massage. The active man can add pleasure to them both through additional friction by sliding all over the back and buttocks of his relaxed partner and then shoot his load on his partner’s back or crack whenever he is ready. As the active partner he’s the one in control.

Don’t forget, keep both bodies well lubricated as you’ll otherwise get friction burns and they can quickly kill the pleasure zone.

Benefits:

Frottage is all about doing everything with your partner that involves pleasure and the liberal use of lubricants. It’s about hands, cocks and skin areas caressing, stroking and stimulating each other. It’s about long sensual kissing whilst the bodies continue to writhe in unadulterated pleasure. It’s about shooting your load externally on to your partner or using his body to manipulate you to orgasm between his legs, into his mouth or elsewhere on his body.

It’s about intensity, pleasure, body contact and safe sex. But above all it’s about pleasure and fun.

A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS: How And Where To Find Your Man

When it is time to have sex with men, you need answers!

It's the best couple of dollars you'll ever invest!

ebook download at:

http://www.amazon.com/Straight-Mans-Guide-Hook-Ups-ebook/dp/B00EUBGNTC/

e-book and paperback at Amazon.com or

paperback only at your favourite online or local bookstore.

http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Peter-Benn/dp/1481099671

"A straightforward, practical guide for men in heterosexual relationships who'd like to explore sex with other men. Frank, honest and understanding."Kirkus Reviews

For a plain unidentifiable eBook cover edition of The Versatile Husband go to: http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Plain-Cover-ebook/dp/B009V5AXEI

TALES FROM THE FUR SIDE: Purrfectly Adorable Cat Stories

http://www.amazon.com/Tales-Fur-Side-Purrfectly-Adorable/dp/1490336966/

CRUISE EXCURSIONS: 25 of the Best European Cruise Ship and Baltic Cruise Ship Shore Trips by Peter Benn e-book or paperback

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00AWKAAGW

Wednesday, 27 March 2013

How and Where To Find Men For Sex

(For more comprehensive detail read my book THE VERSATILE HUSBAND in paperback or e-book download at Amazon.com )

Men who want sex with men can find willing and enthusiastic partners in a variety of places. Sometimes these are anonymous contacts, sometimes they are planned. Local gay newspapers and gay directories of your city are generally available online, so use them to know what’s happening re parties, safety issues about cruising areas, telephone numbers for bathhouses, etc. Here’s a few ideas to get you started....

Internet: There are a myriad of dating sites on the Internet, and because you’re reading this on the Internet I presume that you already know your way around. Choose the one that suits your sexual interests the best. For example:

Men of all ages: Gay.com, Gaydar, AdultFriendFinder, OutPersonals, GayCupid, ManPlay, GCruise, Cruising For Sex

Mature males and their younger admirers: Silver Daddies, Apollo Network, Gay Mature Dating

Bears (men with hair and their admirers): Bears411, Bearfront, Daddy Woof, Bearwww

Instant Cruising: Grindr (Phone App), Squirt. Growlr (Phone App)

Bathhouse / Sauna: Most cities have a sex-on-premises male bathhouse (or sauna) where bi and gay men meet for the purpose of sex. It can be friendly or anonymous and there’s always guys there willing to share sex. The facilities usually have a spa, steam room, shower, lockers, cafe, gay papers, private cubicles, public play areas and opportunities to voyeur on others having sex. They are safe, government approved places for sex. You’ll find a lot of married men at them especially during the day and late afternoon.

Jack Off (Wank) Clubs: Groups of men who like masturbating with one another. Generally no oral or anal sex, total nudity, everyone in the same room and lots of touching, kissing, pleasuring with oils or lubricants, conversation, masturbating one another in groups and a happy feeling of being in a community of like-minded men. Great for men not interested in the full gay scene nor interested in anal sex. Check the locations link at: http://www.nyjacks.com/index.php/links

Cruising Outdoor Locations: Beaches, forests, secluded lakeside areas, suburban parks, roadside rest stops – they are all places men use to meet one another for instant, often anonymous sex. Such places are not legal for sex, can be dangerous but are never-the-less vital sexual outlets for married, bisexual and gay men of all ages. Use them at your discretion and with care.

Sex Shops and Adult Bookstores: Cruise the backrooms for sex with like-minded men in a safe environment. Group and individual masturbation, glory holes for oral sex, cubicles for privacy, television porn, generally remain fully clothed, no showers available.

Gay Bars: Through the local gay press you’ll find gay bars that generally operate for particular gay types (hairy bears, young twinks, drag performances, leather etc). Mostly operate at night. Many hold special events such as foam parties, underwear parties, fund-raising drag nights, best butt, Mr Gay etc. Sex is usually off-premises though the parties are anything goes.

Pay For A Man: Yes, put up your money and you can choose the best possible man for an hour or so of sheer indulgent pleasure, doing exactly what you want him to do to you. Why put up with the average when you can have the best – and when you’ve totally satisfied yourself, show him the door. No awkward moments, no need to reveal any details about yourself, and you can choose a horny man who in other circumstances mightn’t even look at you.

Adult Cinemas: These show sex videos (both gay and straight) whilst patrons indulge in self masturbation, group masturbation, straight sex or gay sex. Sex is very voyeuristic. (see my blog article Adult Sex Cinemas for more details).

Sex Parties: Check the local gay press especially for holiday weekend parties. There’s always several advertised both at gay bars as well as other venues. These can be sex parties or dance parties (sometimes with a backroom for sex). Bathhouses sometimes have nude nights.

Massage: Indulge yourself for a massage with a gay masseur and you might get to have a ‘happy ending’ as he masturbates you to a sticky climax. You’ll need to negotiate beforehand if he does such extras. If he doesn’t, then enjoy the massage and shoot a load when you get home.

Like-Minded Social Groups: Meet guys who share the same interests, hobbies or culture you do. Check the gay press for community listings where you’ll find gay clubs for auto enthusiasts, walking and hiking, specific ethnic or cultural groups, movies, dining out, nudity etc. These are good for meeting men that can lead to sex at a later time and different locations.

When you’re horny and keen to get a man for hot sex don’t forget the safety aspects; the physical circumstances of the encounter, the sexual safety re using condoms and mental impairment that can happen through drug use. We’re all ruled by our sex urge at these moments but if we can apply a little common sense then playing safe in every respect will let us have great ongoing sex without any issues of fear, sexually transmitted diseases or guilt.

Have the best sexual fun you can possibly have! Enjoy!

(For more comprehensive detail read my book THE VERSATILE HUSBAND in paperback or e-book download at Amazon.com or paperback only from booksellers across the internet including The Book Depository or Barnes and Noble or your local bookshop)

Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Your Underwear Defines Your Sexual Confidence

(taken from THE VERSATILE HUSBAND by Peter Benn - Page 94)
Paperback and e-book at Amazon

http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Peter-Benn/dp/1481099671

or Paperback only online at Barnes and Noble, The Book Depository or other online booksellers.

Underwear – such a simple word, yet a word filled with emotion and latent sexual expectation. At their simplest, underpants cover a man’s genitals and buttocks. They add comfort, support, warmth – they’re very practical. And that is generally the approach taken when a wife shops for her husband.

But they are much more than that. They are symbols of how a man feels about himself and his masculinity. They should make him feel good, feel sexually masculine and empower him with confidence.

Does your wife buy your underwear? Is it underwear that your father or grandfather might have worn? Is it the cheapest, safest, whitest, and most conservative underwear on the market? Are all pairs the same? Do they glaringly say that here is a man who is not in control of his life – especially his masculine and sexual image of himself? If your answer is “yes” to any of these, then it’s time for a makeover.

Interesting, stylish, feel-good jocks are an important statement about yourself. There’s a bewildering range of styles, cuts, shapes, materials and colors available, so there’s no excuse in not being able to find ones that make you feel good, feel sexy, and/or make you aware of your sex organs throughout the day. The latter reminds a man that he has sexual energy trapped in his groin that is growing stronger and will need satisfying some time soon. A constant reminder that your horniness is increasing is a feeling of being alive to your masculinity.

And buy lots of different pairs, styles and colors so that as your mood is defined at the time of dressing you can choose a style or color that fits your expectations for the day. As a man becomes more sexual, so his interest in equating stylish, exciting, even erotic underwear grows apace. If a guy feels good ‘down there’ then his whole attitude to life changes to a more confident one.

And remember – if you’re having gay sex in a gay world, then your underwear can immediately tell your partner a lot about you – and you don’t want to project an image of a conservative wife being in charge of your masculinity. Underwear helps to define a sexual man, so begin enjoying the sensual benefits and enormous variety that this industry gives us.