The Versatile Husband : February 2020

Monday 24 February 2020

Men Watching Men Having Sex

What is it that makes watching live sex such a turn-on for so many men? Here are some observations you might relate to:

- Perhaps it's something that I wouldn't usually do myself but if someone else is doing it then that has somehow given me the approval to watch them

- My upbringing taught me that sex should be a private event but here's an opportunity for me to break my self-imposed forbidden boundaries

- It's a chance to learn about how others have sex. Perhaps an opportunity to observe how a bottom can take a thick/big cock or see different positions for sex in action

- We can silently compare our previous sexual performance with what we're watching

- It's such a rare opportunity in most men's sex lives, especially for men in deep suburban or rural areas that it becomes more than exciting because of that rarity

- We project ourselves, our fantasies, our lustful desires onto the performing couple (or group)

- The sounds excite us. Sex is not just a visual activity

- Silently we react to the invisible pheromones being given off by the participants. These sexually excite us

- If we're in a group sex situation the sexual excitement is multiplied as we decide which man we'll play with next. While we're having sex, seeing others next to us or within sight also adds to the intensity of what we're feeling. Perhaps we think that we can do it better than they are doing, or perhaps we want to sexually enjoy ourselves in positions just like others are currently doing, or just simply we want to try it with the horny man who smiled at us and sent their come-and-get-me message. With any scenario, we grow more confident as the surrounding activity and our involvement continues

- We've come out of a monogamous relationship where the sex eventually became boring. Now we have the urge to see what we've been missing out on, a chance to compare our limited sexual knowledge with what the wider gay/bi community is capable of teaching us.

- Mentally and physically we're preparing ourselves for the moment when we hope to be invited to join them. My mind tells my cock to get ready – we're going into the fray very soon

- Watching sexual action via a wall crack, a keyhole or through a window adds to the 'forbidden' aspect

- Live sex is often much more exciting than video performances because of the immediacy of the action and the sexually charged environment we are already in

- - Watching naked men showering has been for many gay and bi men their introduction to the excitement of voyeuring. Even though no sex is happening, breaking the forbidden barrier of watching nudity is so intense that it becomes a sexually stimulating event that is secretly sought after throughout their lifetime

- - We've been invited to watch others having live sex via a phone app. As we will also be on view to them we can masturbate, hence giving the participants an additional sexual thrill as they watch me in return. Having someone watch you whilst not physically being able to join in, can certainly urge on the enthusiasm and excitement of the active couple. Watching live sex happen on the other side of the world can also bring in cultural and ethnic differences to add to the excitement we can feel

For me, watching sex happen in real-time, preferably within physical reach of where it's happening, is an act of voyeurism that is hard to surpass. It crosses many of those forbidden boundaries I was raised to respect. But it also lets me know that I am accepted as an on-looking companion to those actively participating together in their sex. My naked body is at least initially accepted even though it's not always going to be invited to partake. That in itself is confidence-boosting. We all need to feel accepted. Being allowed to watch sex happen is a great privilege and a fabulous turn-on to additional sexual activity either with them or with another man. At the very least it provides an erotic memory that can be pulled up in the mind for use in the future.

Thank you to all the men who have been extrovert enough to have let me watch you – I've loved watching every stroke!

Disclaimer: All advice and information given here on this blog is general in nature and non-specific to any individual, couple or group. You are encouraged to seek your own independent professional medical, psychological and counselling advice. No endorsement of unlawful actions is intended or implied

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Thursday 20 February 2020

Erections While You Sleep (Yes, Two Hours of Them Every Night)

We've all woken up with “morning wood“ (or as it's often called, “morning glory“) – that is an erection that has spontaneously occurred sometime in our sleep and is still there when we awaken. This is a totally normal and essential biological process, so absolutely nothing to worry about. As teens, we've woken to many a wet dream, either during deep sleep in the middle of the night, or first thing in the morning, where our erection is pumping out juice into our nightwear, jocks or straight onto the bedclothes. Oh, the subsequent embarrassment of having to hide the wet residue from Mum! Had we been having erotic dreams, or playing with ourselves or sleeping in a humping-the-bed position, or on your back, then it's totally understandable that the erection occurred. But what if we are sleeping, unconscious to the world and we still get erections?

I've just been reading Bill Bryson's recent book, “The Body“, where he casually mentions that men can have multiple erections throughout the night totaling TWO HOURS a night (Page 265). This instantly intrigued me particularly as I said to myself “how come?“ and “why don't I know about this?" I would have thought that creating erections to that length of time would have somehow been noticeable to me. But no.

Naturally, I investigated further.

It seems that most of us healthy men (or those of us without erectile dysfunction) can achieve three to five erections overnight during sleep, with each of them lasting some 30 minutes in duration. And all of this amazing wood not needing any physical, visual or mental stimuli in order to achieve their creation. They are usual during the aspect of sleep known as REM (Rapid Eye Movement) and are regarded as useful for ongoing penile health.

The medical term is Nocturnal Penile Tumescence (or NPT) and it's where blood moves into the penis following some stimulus. These multiple erections are regarded by the medical profession as a sure sign of a healthy adult male individual. If you suffer from depression, heart disease, low testosterone, diabetes or that you've had a prostate intervention, then there is a high likelihood that you will not be getting such erections. And seeing you asked, yes, women do have similar clitoral erections while sleeping.

Men's bodies do change as they age, and these erections, especially the “morning wood“ is an indicator that this erection was the last of the many raised overnight. Without this wake-up indicator, it's likely there weren't any other erections during the night.

So, what causes these multiple – and sustained – erections? Nobody yet knows! Theories include the rapid eye movement exciting testosterone, a full bladder, erotic dreams, nerve excitement in the spinal cord, possibly when nitrous oxide is released into the blood, when the brain releases the erection-making hormone noradrenaline and/or when oxygen-rich blood is circulated to the penis. When in deep sleep we can also be in a state of paralysis, hence having no control over what is happening within our body.

The measurement of nocturnal erections is also used to diagnose whether erectile dysfunction is psychological or physiological – and yes, there is a device to do the measuring – a Rigiscan. It is strapped to a leg and has a feeder length attached which then has two elastic straps to wrap around the penis shaft, one near the top and one lower down. It will then indicate whether there has been erectile pressure due to girth expansion created during the night within the two bands and if so, this will be recorded for later computer analysis.

The medical profession indicates that this nightly penis workout is good for the health of the penis as it continues to keep the penile tissue soft and elastic, and in fighting-fit condition for the sexual day ahead. If you rarely wake up during the night with a woody, then this could be a sign that erectile dysfunction may be an issue to be further explored.

For me, now knowing that my penis is stretching to full mast up to some two hours a night is better than any other gym regime I could imagine. That's another really good reason to get a full eight hours sleep every night in readiness to putting that “gym-fit“ penis to work for your pleasure.

Who knew?

Disclaimer: All advice and information given here on this blog is general in nature and non-specific to any individual, couple or group. You are encouraged to seek your own independent professional medical, psychological and counselling advice. No endorsement of unlawful actions is intended or implied