Follow by Email

Tuesday, 21 May 2019

On-Demand PrEP: An Alternative To A Daily Tablet


PrEP (Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis with Truvada being the most common tablet of choice) is emerging as the medical answer to ending HIV transmission between men who have sex with men. A single tablet a day maintains immunity.
                                                                                                  
However, a major long-term side effect can be with kidney and liver functions as well as with bone density. Older men are particularly prone to issues with the latter – and I'm one of them.

I've always been a sexually active man and that continues today. After 35 years of strict condom use I saw PrEP as allowing me the freedom to once again enjoy bareback, unprotected sex with men. Of course, this meant I would be exposing myself to any potential STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections) that my chosen partner might be carrying, but that was a manageable risk I was willing to take. My thinking was that the occasional STI would be a short-term and easily treatable annoyance, whereas HIV would be for life.

After the obligatory blood tests checking for sexual infections proved that I was STI free, my doctor was happy to prescribe PrEP. Almost as a passing thought he decided to also send me for a bone density scan. He informed me that the latest research indicates that I could have between 2 and 4% of my bone density leached within a year or so if I took PrEP each day.

The result: As I tested in the osteoporosis spectrum I was immediately taken off the daily PrEP.

My disappointment was immediate and profound.

But then came the compromise – On-Demand PrEP (or PrEP On Demand as some call it).

I was told that when I knew in advance that bareback unprotected anal sex was likely, that I could take 2 PrEP tablets between 24 and 2 hours before the event, and when my sexual binge had finished, to take a single tablet each day for the next two days. That would still protect me from contracting HIV.

That to me was like a gift from the gay gods. That meant that I could indulge in say, a group sex event where multiple acts of anal intercourse would happen, and still go home without any worry in my mind. Sure, there could be an STI showing up later, but at least for the immediate few days I had that peace of mind – in itself, a wonderfully liberating gift.

For promiscuous men, the frequency of group sex at sauna/bathhouses, special group sex events and sex with anonymous individual men might mean that those four tablets could quickly almost reach the level of what a single one-a-day regime would equal, hence no particular advantage for On-Demand PrEP – and still not helping with the bone density issues.

As for me, condoms will need to continue to be my primary source of prevention. Now that I'm over the disappointment and having seen the sexual freedom dream disappear, then this compromise doesn't upset me as it simply means a continuation of what I've already practised for three and a half decades of safe sex. However, On-Demand PrEP does now give me occasions to safely play as naked and as bare as I desire and still go home with that all-important peace of mind. It's the best of both worlds.

And of course, I'm now actively seeking ways to add calcium to my diet so that I can at least maintain my current bone density levels, if not improve them.

For sexually active men in my situation, On-Demand Prep may well prove to be a viable alternative answer to having the freedom of natural sex without unwanted reactions elsewhere in the body. It's worth having a chat with your medical practitioner.

 

Looking for a horny erotic read about gay sex life in Australia? 

Try my ebooks - each volume contains hot self-contained stories.

When it is time to have sex with men, you need answers! Don't f**k up the potentially hottest sex time in your life by not knowing the facts. I'm the ex-married gay man who writes this blog, so I'm sharing my experiences with you in this easy-to-read ebook so that your sex with guys can be brilliant and always available. It's the best couple of dollars you'll ever invest! https://www.amazon.com/Straight-Mans-Guide-Same-Hook-Ups-ebook/dp/B00EUBGNTC
THE VERSATILE HUSBAND: Live Your Passion This is a more comprehensive version of A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS and includes examining why as sexually frustrated men we feel the way we do and what can be done to improve the situation. Particularly useful for any married man who needs more detail  before deciding whether or not to sexually play with men.
e-book and paperback at Amazon.com

For an unidentifiable plain cover eBook edition of The Versatile Husband, go tohttp://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Plain-Cover-ebook/dp/B009V5AXEI
"A straightforward, practical guide for men in heterosexual relationships who'd like to explore sex with other men. Frank, honest and understanding."Kirkus Reviews
 

Sunday, 7 April 2019

Group Masturbation: Different Ways to Play


Masturbation involving you with others can be divided into at least four possibilities. Each will give a different emotional outcome, so what end result, other than the obvious physical spillage, are you hoping for?

With A Friend:
This is the excitement that comes early in discovering M2M playtime. It's a lot about initial exploring of what another cock feels like to touch. There is that thrill of finding a like-minded playmate who'll happily let you sit beside him, trousers and jocks at his knees, and perhaps while you both distract yourselves by watching porn, it is simply two straight men having a lot of fun without any overtones of suggesting that this activity is in any way “gay“.

 
Jackoff Group:
Photos courtesy of Tumblr
You want more than one man's hand jerking you off, so you seek out an organized j/o group of maybe 10 -50 guys. Many will be married, some will be gay or bi, but all just want the non-threatening companionship of other “straight“ or M2M sexually exploring men. Many of the participants are uneasy about or are not looking for, anal sex. Some like the total nudity factor. It's also a lot about conversation, touch, the variety of ages and body types available, of having sexual fun while perhaps still justifying it by saying to oneself that it's “not proper sex“, so therefore I'm not committing adultery in any shape or form. Perhaps jacking off, (even with the hands of other men), can also be justified as just another part of their otherwise heterosexual sex lives. These groups are usually strong on the social aspects of men sharing a fun sexual experience in a safe environment and are good for bonding, knowing that as a married man who likes masturbating, you need not be lonely and do it on your own. Spontaenous groups of men who are seeking group masturbation can also happen at gay nude beaches, backrooms of sex shops, gay bathhouses/saunas, nightclubs and dance parties, doing the beat and wherever there's some privacy, no matter how temporary that might be.
Here's a link to finding such a group anywhere in the world: https://nyjacks.com/links

'Baters:
These men focus on group masturbation as a primary part of their sexual lives – sometimes exclusively, sometimes not. It's not just a matter of getting your rocks off – it's an art form, where cock-worship (your own or of others) can bring additional pleasures. Touching, stroking, multiple edging towards orgasm but always pulling back, saving the climax for the end of the group. It's also not always necessary or expected, to cum at all, but rather hold in the energy of the seed as expressed in tantric philosophy. It can also become a sexual way of life with 'baters actively seeking out fellow afficionado's who understand the deep satisfaction that can be achieved. Sometimes a small group of men are involved together, sometimes this is a special bonding with just a couple of friends. It's a philosophy that is treated very seriously by the practitioners, where masturbation and the climax of cumming is raised to an art form.

Internet Video Link:
Who hasn't jacked off in front of the computer while other guys, maybe on the other side of the world, are watching via a video link? Naturally there is no physical contact, yet there's the undeniable thrill of us doing something a bit decadent and being watched doing it. Like all aspects of masturbation, especially for us older men, there is still a little part of us that knows that it's a guilty pleasure, possibly something a little bit “dirty“, something our mother's wouldn't approve of. We shouldn't have such feelings, but the trouble is, we do and that's a hangover from repressive childhoods dominated by ignorance, religion and conservative attitudes. It's also something that we can privately participate in yet have the feeling that we're sharing with other like-minded men.

Masturbation is as natural as breathing and as enjoyable as food. It adds immeasurably to our happiness whether we do it by ourselves, with a friend or as part of a bigger group. Just be aware of what emotional satisfaction you're looking for.

By my reckoning, a daily wank between the ages of 15 and 60 years of age, totals up to a staggering 16,425 climaxes. Even at once a week, it stills adds up to 2,340 ejaculations. In my thinking, that's one good amount of pleasure!!! But excuse me, in the absence of other naked guys within ready reach, I think I feel yet another solitary pleasure moment fast approaching…


Looking for a horny erotic read about gay sex life in Australia? 

Try my ebooks - each volume contains hot self-contained stories.

When it is time to have sex with men, you need answers! Don't f**k up the potentially hottest sex time in your life by not knowing the facts. I'm the ex-married gay man who writes this blog, so I'm sharing my experiences with you in this easy-to-read ebook so that your sex with guys can be brilliant and always available. It's the best couple of dollars you'll ever invest! https://www.amazon.com/Straight-Mans-Guide-Same-Hook-Ups-ebook/dp/B00EUBGNTC
THE VERSATILE HUSBAND: Live Your Passion This is a more comprehensive version of A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS and includes examining why as sexually frustrated men we feel the way we do and what can be done to improve the situation. Particularly useful for any married man who needs more detail  before deciding whether or not to sexually play with men.
e-book and paperback at Amazon.com

For a plain cover unidentifiable eBook edition go tohttp://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Plain-Cover-ebook/dp/B009V5AXEI
"A straightforward, practical guide for men in heterosexual relationships who'd like to explore sex with other men. Frank, honest and understanding."Kirkus Reviews

Sunday, 3 March 2019

Consent: “Stealthing“ – Sexual Assault by Secretly Removing a Condom During Sex




Whatever type of sex we are having, whether that be male/male or male/female, paid or unpaid, it's of the highest importance that it is consenting sex. Consenting not only as to what will be shared between the participants, but also how that will be achieved.

I recently spoke to a married man who was highly concerned that he'd been "stealthed". That is, even though he gave consent to be penetrated by his anonymous bathhouse/sauna partner so long as that partner used a condom, he realized late in the action that he had been grossly violated by that man, who had secretly slipped off the condom during sex. Only when the partner began cumming inside of him (another thing that had not been discussed, even momentarily) did my distressed informant know that he was being used as just another piece of sexual meat by the top.

When confronted by the bottom man, the perpetrator simply shrugged his shoulders and said “so what. Since Prep everyone is doing all their fucking bareback. It's no big deal. I'm clean.“

My friend was not amused, pointing out that the guy had broken their agreement to have sex only with a condom, and there had been no discussion about giving him a cream-pie deep inside of him.

“You're a fuckin' selfish prick,“ was the words he said he used. “Don't you have any respect for the guys you fuck?

And therein lie two of the issues that so many men seemingly ignore. (There's also the legality of the action).

Selfishness - and lack of respect for others.

(1) Selfishness – as men, when we're horny, there is that insatiable desire to want to get our rocks off, and as soon as possible. Our day won't move on as successfully without firstly dumping a load. Masturbation, pick-up a guy off social media or head off for a quick visit to an all-male bathhouse/sauna. Even as we look at the meat-rack of potential partners inside that sex-on-premises location, it's all about us – what we want to sexually achieve, what sexual activity will make us happy. That's not necessarily a bad thing as we decide on our choice, but that choice of man then needs to be tempered with what that man wants as his choice.

(2) Respect – when we meet an anonymous man in order to have sex together, we can assume nothing about the life or experiences of the other one. At sex-on-premises locations conversation is generally in short supply. We make eye contact, we agree to have sex in a nearby cubicle and then we continue that sex until such time as intercourse is imminent. It seems to me, that in the height of passion, that's when so many begin to negotiate the terms and conditions of what will then take place.

Sex then takes one of two courses – the stronger/more active partner assumes that whatever he wants, you will also want. He begins to lube you and without any further discussion he begins to penetrate you. It's only if you then object to the lack of condom, that dialogue will take place. At this point he has shown no respect for you and your wishes.

For whatever reasons, you tell him that he has to put on that condom before re-entering you. For at that moment, you are respecting you. It's your body, your peace-of-mind, your method of staying healthy. If he doesn't then you should be strong enough to walk away from the encounter. If he does, then you rightly assume that the respect between the two of you has been established. Then, to be sure, you should be the one to roll it onto his erection. That gives you an even stronger peace-of-mind feeling. And in he goes. You begin to drift into the moment without having to reach around every so often just to check that he's still got it on. You don't even blink when the erection “slips out“ for a moment or two as it's soon back in giving you that deep pleasure that you're there for. As he builds momentum with his long strokes you might even silently acknowledge that condoms don't feel so bad after-all. You're deep in the moment and getting fucked is what it's all about.

Then you hear those fateful words “I'm cumming“ and you slightly acknowledge that you want to feel his full hard thrusting continue to climax as he's going to be shooting into the safety of the condom. Without another word he releases his juices and you realise that it's not going into a latex container, but rather shooting bare, deep into your arse. You're suddenly very alert knowing that somehow, and without your knowledge, the condom has been removed and you've been internally creampied by this anonymous creep.

And that's exactly the scenario my straight married informant told to me. What he also told me was the urgency to immediately try to pass out as much of the juice as he could. But it was the agony of the days that followed that created his greatest anxiety. He justified that from his internet searches there was little probability of HIV transference, though it was still a possibility. As part of his work time he had to locate an independent sexual health clinic to get tested without anyone knowing about it. And 24/7 he silently carried the guilt of allowing it to happen as well as the angst against himself for being so stupid and gullible.

These were burdens that he didn't need in his life and all because he trusted what he thought was a trustworthy, like-minded man who also enjoyed sex with other men. He had been taken advantage of and in the eyes of the law in parts of the western world, he had been raped. The verbal contract that he had established with his anonymous lover for anal sex with a condom, had been deliberately violated from the moment the lover slipped off the condom and continued intercourse without it. He had been betrayed!

If condom use is a priority for your casual sex life (especially for the safety from sexual transmitted infections), then it's very important that it's use is negotiated at the earliest opportunity of any encounter – perhaps even before you enter the privacy of a cubicle, and certainly before you reach his house if you're meeting off a dating app. It's important that you check throughout the encounter that's it is still on your partner. If it's not, you should then stop the encounter, walk away and if possible, draw the matter to the attention of the bathhouse/sauna management.

Law enforcement will vary from state to state and country to country, but you may be very surprised to learn, especially if the man concerned is HIV positive, that there may be a law about recklessly endangering other people's lives through intercourse without a condom. Put simply, with or without a HIV aspect, it's sexual assault. And it is unconscionable conduct that we shouldn't allow to go unrecognized, discussed or acted upon.


Looking for a horny erotic read about gay sex life in Australia? 

Try my ebooks - each volume contains hot self-contained stories.


When it is time to have sex with men, you need answers! Don't f**k up the potentially hottest sex time in your life by not knowing the facts. I'm the ex-married gay man who writes this blog, so I'm sharing my experiences with you in this easy-to-read ebook so that your sex with guys can be brilliant and always available. It's the best couple of dollars you'll ever invest! https://www.amazon.com/Straight-Mans-Guide-Same-Hook-Ups-ebook/dp/B00EUBGNTC
THE VERSATILE HUSBAND: Live Your Passion This is a more comprehensive version of A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS and includes examining why as sexually frustrated men we feel the way we do and what can be done to improve the situation. Particularly useful for any married man who needs more detail  before deciding whether or not to sexually play with men.
e-book and paperback at Amazon.com

For a plain cover unidentifiable eBook edition go tohttp://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Plain-Cover-ebook/dp/B009V5AXEI

"A straightforward, practical guide for men in heterosexual relationships who'd like to explore sex with other men. Frank, honest and understanding."Kirkus Reviews