Sunday, 22 December 2013

Group Masturbation, Jack Off Groups: Step 2: Having Safe Sex Fun!


Cum, jiz, spoof, spunk, man juice, ejaculate, man milk, shoot white pearlies – they’re all images and words you might have in your head about being here at your first jack off party.

Image courtesy of Tumblr
You’ve arrived at the party location and met your jock-wearing or cock-ring only wearing hosts. You’ve changed into your ‘birthday suit’ having placed your clothes into the bag you came with or into the identifiable plastic bin liner bag provided. Still wearing your footwear, you head into the j/o room. (Footwear is an added safety factor so that spilt cum doesn’t enter any open sores or cracks in your bare feet).  You know the rules about no sucking, no fucking, no force – often summarised as “No lips below the hips”. You’re ready now to step into the pleasure zone.

Wow! There’s some thirty guys here today, all ages represented - and they’re all butt naked. After a cursory glance at their body shape you realise that you’ll fit in nicely here – and then your eyes look straight at the cocks. They’re everywhere – some erect and being slowly manipulated by a new friend, some in a semi state of arousal just waiting for that extra zing to full erection. Small ones, fat ones – and yes, there’s always one that draws gasps of delight and a sense of awe. He won’t be alone during today’s events – and chances are that as you mingle from group to group you’ll encounter him, hand-to-cock for yourself.

Image courtesy of Tumblr
An organiser or a new best friend is now chatting to you and moving you ever-so-gently towards the nearest action group. When he puts his warm hand on your penis you momentarily twitch with surprise but you know that it feels good. So you take courage and onto his semi erection goes your hand. He doesn’t back off - he just closes his eyes in bliss and gives back a huge smile of contentment. You know then for sure that you’re not in Kansas any more.

Soon you are joined by another man and it’s only natural to have each of your hands on a different cock. In turn there are his two hands working on your pleasure, one tweaking your nipples and kissing you, the other firmly but gently caressing your member. There’s conversation and laughter. There’s yet another man who has found your naked body attractive and he has placed himself behind you, erect cock rubbing your spine and his arms wrapped around you. There’s plenty of lubrication being spread around. In some clubs this is cold pressed massage oil whilst some others will use Albolene or similar moisturisers. Remember to avoid friction – a cock that is rubbed a little raw is a real dampener to a happy party.
Image courtesy of Tumblr

With all this attention you’ll soon find that one of your group – perhaps you – will be moving towards
that inevitable moment of shooting your load. When this is sensed your compatriots will happily assist you to climax. If you do climax somewhat noisily then you can expect a rousing shout of approval from those men near you. And remember that no-one is keeping count on the number of times that you cum or don’t cum.

Alternatively if you want to save yourself, an indication of “no thanks” with your hand will be understood or alternatively “I need a break” is a good line to use when you to slip out of the group and refresh yourself with a drink. As most wank parties play for up to two hours you need to pace yourself.

Some j/o clubs will sell you a drink (alcoholic or otherwise), some will have asked you to bring your own to share. It’s a good time to chat with your like-minded neighbour, perhaps exchange a phone number for another chat or meeting, talk about other sexual opportunities your city might offer or generally shoot the breeze on any topic that interests you both. Don’t be surprised if there are revelations of marriage, kids, sexual frustrations, Internet hookups and how to keep your extra-marital sex activities secret. By going to the j/o group it’s a men’s club you’ve entered, and with that it gives you a safe environment in which to play, a range of like-minded consenting (probably married) adult men and the freedom of being nude.

Most clubs will offer some form of showering and this can hold additional fun when several men shower together, and for a voyeur, it’s a delightful scene to watch. A group I have been associated with used to meet in private homes and after showering many a party ended with a BBQ meal which gave additional conversation time and a sense of belonging to the participants.

Wank parties, j/o groups – whatever you call them, are not just for the sex. Many an attendee knows of the loneliness of being sexually and geographically isolated. Therefore these parties exist, and have done so in some cases for three decades, because there is a strong need for men to share masculine time together. To converse, touch, divulge, laugh and share. If you want to remain totally private about your life you can certainly do that, but it’s been my experience that the more you open up about your own inner fears and loneliness, the easier the healing will be. Because – you are not alone in your desires or fears.

And if you take away from the party a sense of no longer being odd, queer, misunderstood or battling desires on your own, you will have gained a precious moment in your life where you’ve made a step forward in accepting who you are and what you sexually like to do. Whether you return for a second visit or drift quietly back into your everyday life is a decision you’ll make based on your conversations and your inner contentment or otherwise about being sexual in this way.

Image courtesy of Tumblr
Shared mutual masturbation is not for everyone. “It’s not proper sex” has been one complaint I’ve heard many times. For me, that’s someone making a judgement about themselves. For many other married men who only seek nudity, a friendly masturbatory orgasm, male companionship and open-mindedness it is a wonderful new world. For them it’s a safe sex environment. There’s no oral genital sex, no fucking, no attitude - and that means he doesn’t have to worry about being labelled gay, bi or queer, worry about taking home to his wife any transmittable sexual diseases or indeed, have any performance insecurities. He’s accepted for exactly who he is - his body shape, his age, his skin colour, his inexperience, his chosen lifestyle.

It’s no wonder that so many married and partnered men continue to attend j/o parties as their only sexual outlet beyond their marriage. Sexual safety and masculine company is a great way to share what we all love doing best – shooting a hot load.


For a full list of group links visit:


Groups meet regularly in many American cities, Vancouver and in Melbourne (Australia).  The oldest clubs are the:

New York Jacks (33 years – meet twice a week) http://www.nyjacks.com/

San Francisco Jacks (29 years – meet 2nd and 4th Monday each month) http://www.sfjacks.com/
 
Update: October 2021: The Melbourne Wankers (Australia) after 30 years and some 650 jack-off parties, have now ceased holding parties.
Read about their remarkable history in this short article: 
https://www.starobserver.com.au/features/community-spotlight/what-a-wank-the-story-behind-the-melbourne-wankers-group/206234


Looking for a horny erotic read about gay sex life in Australia? 

Try my ebooks - each volume contains hot self-contained stories.

When it is time to have sex with men, you need answers! Don't f**k up the potentially hottest sex time in your life by not knowing the facts. I'm the ex-married gay man who writes this blog, so I'm sharing my experiences with you in this easy-to-read ebook so that your sex with guys can be brilliant and always available. It's the best couple of dollars you'll ever invest! https://www.amazon.com/Straight-Mans-Guide-Same-Hook-Ups-ebook/dp/B00EUBGNTC
THE VERSATILE HUSBAND: Live Your Passion This is a more comprehensive version of A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS and includes examining why as sexually frustrated men we feel the way we do and what can be done to improve the situation. Particularly useful for any married man who needs more detail  before deciding whether or not to sexually play with men.
e-book and paperback at Amazon.com

For a plain cover unidentifiable eBook edition go to: http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Plain-Cover-ebook/dp/B009V5AXEI

"A straightforward, practical guide for men in heterosexual relationships who'd like to explore sex with other men. Frank, honest and understanding."Kirkus Reviews
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Monday, 18 November 2013

Group Masturbation: Jack Off / Jerk Off Group: Step 1: Deciding To Participate


What’s it feel like to want to participate? 
Photo courtesy Tumblr
All your life you’ve watched guys under the shower. You’ve wondered what it would be like to put your hand on another guy’s cock, perhaps even play with it until it shot its load. Perhaps touch his naked body, play with his nipples, run your hands over his naked back and buttocks.

You can’t yet bring yourself to the idea of long slow kissing with a man nor having his cock fill your mouth. You’re sure that these things will come in due course after you feel more comfortable
with your sexual self. Possibly anal play will also develop to be an attraction.

But for now, all you want is a room full of naked everyday type men like yourself who also want to touch and pleasure other like-minded men. Add some oil to be spread over those naked bodies and/or some lubricant for the cock, keep the lights and the music  pleasantly low and add some fun conversation and laughter.

Welcome to a typical session at a group masturbation club.

(See links below to find your local event).

You’ve made contact with the organisers, you know the time and the location for the group. You’ve organised a good excuse to cover the time that you’ll be at the party and why you might come home with oil residue on you (an old injury needed a massage). But it’s days away and you can’t believe how slow time travels. Your head is filled with horny anticipation of say 25 naked men standing there in front of you just waiting to play with you. The organiser has explained to you that they will all be guys like yourself – but still you have anxiety about the fact that you’re not gym fit, and you’ve let your body go a bit of late. Will you be able to crack an erection – and maintain it? What if they think I’m hung small and are not interested in me? What if they don’t like uncut guys like me?  I’m hairy, will that make a difference?

You’re really keen to play and have that first erotic time with another guy, but if truth be known, you’re shit scared.  Surprisingly, one of the main underlying thoughts is ‘what if I enjoy it too much’ – does that make me gay?  Answer: You can’t enjoy pleasuring other men too much – and “no”, playing with another man’s cock doesn’t make you gay. You’re simply coming to the group to sexually experiment, to jack off just as you did with some of the other boys from school all those years ago. Ok, you’re an adult now but that doesn’t dispel the need to broaden your sexual horizons in to areas that have long interested you.

Masturbation groups invariably have rules about no oral (that is, cocksucking) or anal (fingering or fucking) so you already know that you aren’t getting into deep sexual territory – and that it will be a totally safe sex event.

When the big day finally comes around don’t be surprised if you sit in the car outside for quite a while building up courage to go inside. You desperately want to be part of this new erotic sexuality but you feel unworthy, that you are crossing an invisible line of guilt set up by your marriage vows, that it’s silly at my time of life to be doing this, etc etc.

As you sit there you’ll notice the other men going inside are in fact ordinary guys like yourself. All ages, and shapes, and sizes. And they are greeting each other with laughter and smiles and camaraderie. These are not men who are slinking in to some backstreet dive, they are proud and happy and eager to participate with other like-minded men who enjoy their body, enjoy touch and savour sensuality in a safe and happy way. And isn’t that what you are really looking for? 

Take hold of your courage and get yourself to the front door. Within seconds you’ll be a welcome new participant, you’ll be shown to a room where you can strip down and store your clothes (sometimes you’ll be asked to bring a bag with you) and by the time you’re naked you’ll be happily chatting to other naked guys around you. Walk in to the main play room and all of your erotic and naked dreams will have come true. Who dared imagine that there were so many other interesting men in your locality who think the same way you do.

If at this moment you don’t feel comfortable there is no shame is staying on the sidelines to adjust to this new confrontation. If after a while you realise that group masturbation and nudity is in fact not for you, then dress and quietly depart.

But if you are like me at my first jack off event, I simply said to myself “I’m home” – and plunged in to enjoy every oil-covered man and his cock in that room.

What’s it like to have multiple hands caressing your body and cock?  It's time to read the second blog: 

Group Masturbation, Jack Off Groups: Step 2: Having Safe Sex Fun!

And here’s where to find out where some of the best jack off parties are held (and if you find any others I’d love to hear about them)....


For a full list of group links visit:


Groups meet regularly in many American cities, Vancouver and in Melbourne (Australia).  The oldest clubs are the:

New York Jacks (33 years – meet twice a week) http://www.nyjacks.com/

San Francisco Jacks (29 years – meet 2nd and 4th Monday each month) http://www.sfjacks.com/

Update: October 2021: The Melbourne Wankers (Australia) after 30 years and some 650 jack-off parties, have now ceased holding parties.
Read about their remarkable history in this short article: 
https://www.starobserver.com.au/features/community-spotlight/what-a-wank-the-story-behind-the-melbourne-wankers-group/206234




Looking for a horny erotic read about gay sex life in Australia? 

Try my ebooks - each volume contains hot self-contained stories.

When it is time to have sex with men, you need answers! Don't f**k up the potentially hottest sex time in your life by not knowing the facts. I'm the ex-married gay man who writes this blog, so I'm sharing my experiences with you in this easy-to-read ebook so that your sex with guys can be brilliant and always available. It's the best couple of dollars you'll ever invest! https://www.amazon.com/Straight-Mans-Guide-Same-Hook-Ups-ebook/dp/B00EUBGNTC
THE VERSATILE HUSBAND: Live Your Passion This is a more comprehensive version of A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS and includes examining why as sexually frustrated men we feel the way we do and what can be done to improve the situation. Particularly useful for any married man who needs more detail  before deciding whether or not to sexually play with men.
e-book and paperback at Amazon.com

For a plain cover unidentifiable eBook edition go to: http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Plain-Cover-ebook/dp/B009V5AXEI

"A straightforward, practical guide for men in heterosexual relationships who'd like to explore sex with other men. Frank, honest and understanding."Kirkus Reviews
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Monday, 14 October 2013

Cleaning Up After Sex - Don't Dunk Your Penis



I’ve been fascinated this week about the worldwide interest in the confession of a woman who stated that post coital her male partner dips his penis into a bedside tumbler of water whilst waiting to use the bathroom after she has finished her ablutions.

As I’ve never come across this in all my years of having sex with men it’s had me thinking about what are some of the issues regarding post-coital male/male cleanups?

Courtesy of Tumblr
You’ve just had a shag with your man and one of the purposes of good man-to-man sex is to spill that seed. You’re going to do that into a condom internally and then peel it off and dispose of it without spilling the contents. No problem here.

Or  you’ve shagged without a condom and

(1) you’ve deposited a good load up inside your man which will eventually find its way out though not immediately (again, no pressing time issue here) or

(2) you’ve shot externally over his crack, his buttocks, his back, his chest, his balls or his face so when ready, a quick wipe with a handily located ‘cum towel’ does the trick. Sure, in due course you’ll enjoy a shower to remove the remaining lube and any dry cum, but there’s no need to miss the enjoyable post-sex cuddle and chat by immediately heading off to the bathroom.

Perhaps your sex was limited to oral, so again, he either swallowed your load or used the towel after you’d spilled like a geyser.

It’s been my experience that most men don’t blow and then immediately have a need for a clean-up. The exception to this are some Asian cultures who can blow and be in the bathroom in what seems like the blink of an eye. If you understand this culture you’ll not be offended that it was anything you said or did. Mind you, he’ll be back in a short time for round two - it’s just that he doesn’t want to feel unclean for more than a moment.

Most men I’ve encountered don’t need to rush for a cleanup shower before beginning another round of sex. If there’s cum still on the cock that just adds flavor and intimacy to the passion. Many a man will lick clean his lover’s spilled cum whilst it’s still warm, and by sharing an immediate kiss there is a heightened mixing of sperm and saliva which is a great way to continue the intimacy of being in each other’s arms whilst resting between bouts. All of a man is enjoyable to share and a sticky cock is no exception. However, if it’s been bare inside your partner, then a wash before oral begins again is recommended. That’s simple hygiene.

One of the joys of gay male sex can be showering together after you’ve lingered a while in bed. Share lots of lathering of each other including cleansing the intimate areas like his cock head and around his rosebud. When a partner does this for you it takes the sex to another intimate level, and frequently begins a whole new round of sexual activity. It’s certainly also wise to urinate as soon after sex as possible as that helps clean out the tract thus lowering the possibility of urethral infections.

In short, as male lovers, embrace your naked bodies, enjoy spilling your seed and even more embrace the task of cleaning it up with a willing tongue and a warm mouth. Dipping your cock in to a glass of water bedside simply will not substitute for sharing the bathroom together - after all you’ve just been as intimate as two men can be so this is not the time to go shy.

So, balance the need for hygiene against ruining the bonding intimacy that exists immediately after you have both blown. Of course, if you want to exit the scene then a clean-up shower is a good way to say in action terms that the session is finished.  But if intimacy is your scene and you’re in to kissing, cuddling and pleasurable naked body contact then don’t let a bit of stickiness take that pleasure from you both.


Disclaimer: All advice and information given here on this blog is general in nature and non-specific to any individual, couple or group. You are encouraged to seek your own independent professional medical, psychological and counselling advice. 


A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS: How And Where To Find Your Man 

Don't waste time - find out right now where to find your new playmates and begin playing today!  Male saunas, backrooms, sex shops, jack-off groups, beats - it's not just about internet hook-ups. Don't be lonely and frustrated any longer....

ebook at:

THE VERSATILE HUSBAND: Live Your Passion (This is a more comprehensive version of A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS).  Particularly useful for therapists, counsellers and medical professionals for understanding the married man’s frustrations, loneliness and inner needs - and for any married man who needs more detail  before deciding whether or not to sexually play with men.

e-book and paperback at Amazon.com or
paperback only at your favourite online or local bookstore.

"A straightforward, practical guide for men in heterosexual relationships who'd like to explore sex with other men. Frank, honest and understanding."Kirkus Reviews


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