Don’t mix up infatuation and sex....
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YOU: The
Sexual Drought Is Over:
You’re a married man and a family man. You’ve not had sex
with your wife for a long time. She’s not interested – and she’s expressed that
in no uncertain terms. There’s no physical intimacy, no kiss on departure or
arrival from each other, no opportunity to discuss your physical and sexual
needs.
Since your sexual relations finished you’ve masturbated a
lot in private, you’ve had a couple of affairs with women and now you’ve found
man-to-man sex. All the pent-up desires for hot, involved sex have begun
tumbling out and being realised. The first few encounters were tentative, a bit
fumbled in their execution, but you learnt a lot – and fast.
Even though you’ve really only had a couple of M2M
encounters you’re really enjoying life because you’ve found a man who is not
only great in bed but is also a totally enjoyable man to be in the company of.
You enjoy his touch, his smile, his laughter, his agreeable way of looking at
the world the way you do. You see that there is amazing simpatico between the
two of you – or so it seems. You reluctantly leave his company to return to
your family life whilst inwardly you can’t wait to be in contact with him
again.
You want to say that you love him. Tell him that he’s
exactly what you’ve been longing for during those long sexless years you’ve
endured. That together, you could be the happiest you’ve ever been.
HIM: “Not Looking For A Relationship”
Do you remember reading that on his profile? In your head you agreed with that, as
you are also in no position to set up a full time relationship beyond the
family. Unbeknown to you the sex he initiated and shared with you was what he
shares with all his dates. Chances are he’s been having M2M sex for a very long
time and is somewhat skilled at giving a newbie a great time. He knows that
your inexperience means that he can make you think that he’s a skilled lover
particularly by making sure that all your needs
are met – and surpassed.
If he’s easy to talk with, then chances are that you’ll find
this a winning combination and that you’ll be back for more. He may not be
thinking that at all – he may simply see you as a good f**k, someone who was
conveniently available at the time he felt horny, perhaps he’s happy to see you
once more or even add you to his regular f**k buddy list. He’s also happy to
put you out the door as quickly as he can after sex has concluded and go on
with his life without any commitment having being made. He knows that there
are multitudes of horny men out there in his city whom he could play with.
There’s the thrill of the chase and the conquest of bedding a total stranger,
both of which are his rationale for being on the dating website. Every new man
is a challenge, a different taste, a different tactile sensation – two hours of hot unbridled sex without
any ongoing commitment. Dip in, dip out. Chase, conquer but don’t commit.
YOU: How
Do I Tell Him That I Love Him?
In a word you – DON’T! The above is not an unusual scenario
for a single gay man of any age. For you as an inexperienced bi-curious man
it’s important to realise this is the norm in gay dating. Sure, a few good sex
sessions can often lead to a more personal intimacy and friendship but it’s
wise to remember that’s not what he is initially looking for.
If your new man has broken the long sexual drought that
you’ve endured, given you back your energy and enthusiasm for intimate bodily contact
and mixed that with a masculine friendship that has long been missing from your
life, then that is a fantastic gift. But, it’s NOT the time to open
your mouth and declare any form of love or romance to him. Yes, the situation
fulfills your deep and longingly sought after expectations but this is only the
first romantic blossoming in your new world of man-to-man enjoyment – and it’s
all only in your head. Be patient
as there will be many more to follow.
To declare your intimate inner thoughts after just a couple
of sex sessions will threaten his personal space – and your phone will no
longer ring for no-strings sex with him. Love and sex in the world of single
gay men all too rarely go hand in hand until a much longer passage of time has
past. Enjoy the sex, enjoy the conversation – but at those initial sex romps
don’t dump the heavy stuff on him. Let time take its course.
You’ll be surprised how many nice men are out there waiting
to share non-committed sex with you. And if you are in a position to enjoy it,
then one of those, in due course, will talk to you about sharing more quality time together. In the
meantime simply have fun with every horny man you can beguile in to bed knowing
that tomorrow there is more, and perhaps even better, than what you enjoyed
today.
e-book and paperback at Amazon.com or
http://www.amazon.com/Tales-Fur-Side-Purrfectly-Adorable/dp/1490336966/
New to cruising? Get helpful tips about onboard procedure, an invaluable Check List as to what you'll need to pack for shore excursions, PLUS details of 25 of the best European and Baltic shore excursions that I've undertaken. Make sure you have the best possible cruise - for all the right reasons.
Disclaimer: All advice and information given here on this blog is general in nature and non-specific to any individual, couple or group. You are encouraged to seek your own independent professional medical, psychological and counselling advice.
A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS: How And Where To Find Your Man
Don't waste time - find out right now where to find your new playmates and begin playing today! Male saunas, backrooms, sex shops, jack-off groups, beats - it's not just about internet hook-ups. Don't be lonely and frustrated any longer....
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THE VERSATILE HUSBAND: Live Your Passion (This is a more comprehensive version of A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS). Particularly useful for therapists, counsellers and medical professionals for understanding the married man’s frustrations, loneliness and inner needs - and for any married man who needs more detail before deciding whether or not to sexually play with men.
e-book and paperback at Amazon.com or
paperback only at your favourite online or local bookstore.
"A straightforward, practical guide for men in heterosexual relationships who'd like to explore sex with other men. Frank, honest and understanding."Kirkus Reviews
TALES FROM THE FUR SIDE: Purrfectly Adorable Cat Stories
A collection of entertaining tall tales, and (possibly) true, from the secret lives of cats - as told by the cats themselves! Mischief. Mayhem. History. Heroism. Revenge and Reflection - this is life as lived on the fur side, beyond the prying eyes of humans – where wisdom, adventure and love mix abundantly with mystery, murder and exotic locations. A treat for everyone who shares their life with a cat.
New to cruising? Get helpful tips about onboard procedure, an invaluable Check List as to what you'll need to pack for shore excursions, PLUS details of 25 of the best European and Baltic shore excursions that I've undertaken. Make sure you have the best possible cruise - for all the right reasons.
CRUISE EXCURSIONS: 25 of the Best European Cruise Ship and Baltic Cruise Ship Shore Trips by Peter Benn e-book or paperback
