Voyeuring: Watching Live Sex

A gay bathhouse is a great place for a man to discover how comfortable – or otherwise - he is with nudity and his sexuality. One of these aspects is voyeuring – or being able to watch actual sex happening right before your eyes. Some men love to have an audience whilst they are having sex. Many don’t, and therefore private cubicles are available for them. Watching sex on the Internet is a distancing event that allows viewing without active participation.  Whereas seeing sex happening within touching distance brings in more than a dash of the “Forbidden Apple”. The first time this happens it will rivet your attention. It is such an unusual position to find yourself in that you can’t take your eyes off what is happening. There’s also the sounds, the energy, the guilt, the explosive excitement of being there, the thought of wanting to touch the participants to reinforce that this is really happening to you – and your own sexual excitement will be very much heightened. If you are watching with others perhaps additional sex will begin to take place.  Public sex is also such an unusual, yet deeply entrancing event to have witnessed that you can expect the images will stay with you for many days, or indeed, much longer.  It’s another reminder as to where we as individuals stand in relation to our sexual boundaries.  Would you let a stranger watch you having sex?

The Importance Of Belonging

I have just spent 2 weeks traveling on 2 all-gay cruises – that is, with the exception of the crew, everyone on board was gay.  The first, a river cruise on the Danube had 140 gay men as the passengers, the second approximately 2000 gay men on a cruise of the Baltic. In both instances this meant that being gay was the norm. We were the majority. My vacation was shared with like-minded men who enjoyed the company of other men of all ages. Being in the majority for once in your life is very empowering. If you are holding hands or giving another man a ‘hello’ kiss you don’t have to look over your shoulder to see who is watching. You can be your real self. It’s very liberating. Sitting at dinner or sharing a drink beside the pool with new friends, you exchange life-style stories, and you start to understand the enormous variety of backgrounds gay men have. We are all different, yet we can communicate easily because of our respect for the masculinity the other brings to the table. There is a consciousness, an empathy that allows for such an easy flow.  It’s rarely sexual - rather it’s more about belonging, being respected as a fellow man. It’s about acceptance of who we are.

Perhaps when you are looking into the sexual world of the gay man on the Internet, it might be wise to pause for a moment and reflect – “Am I seeking masculine friendship or do I just want sex?” 

For gay cruising see:

http://atlantisevents.com/                http://www.rsvpvacations.com/
    

Gay Husbands Welcome Here!

"There is no lonelier place in the world for a husband than a sexless marital bed."

These words begin my book "THE VERSATILE HUSBAND: Is Man-to-Man Gay Sex Right For Me? A Practical Guide for Husbands, Lovers and Curious Others as to How, Why, Where and Why Not!"

http://www.amazon.com/The-Versatile-Husband-Man-To-Man-ebook/dp/B008GMT61S


This blog is to support you by sharing knowledge, true stories, encouragement - and especially to say that you are not the only husband in the world who feels this way. Millions of men around the western world are married yet share some, if not all, of their sexual outlets with other men.  It's also not just about sex, but about being appreciated and accepted as a man by your colleagues and peers. It's also about the consequences that can happen when you are discovered sexually playing outside of the marriage and why perhaps some early soul-searching might tell you that man-to-man sex is in fact not right for you. I trust that you will find sustenance from these entries and from the book.