Wednesday, 16 January 2013

Sex Doesn’t Always Have To Be Recipricol - Does It?


At a bathhouse/sauna there is usually a plentiful supply of men who will want to play with you. So if the partner you have chosen turns out to be not what was expected then you can excuse yourself with an “I need a break” and move on. I’ve done this many times with men who give nothing back no matter how much encouragement you give them. It seems that the more I give in pleasure the less he feels a need to respond to my needs. I’ve reached a time of my life when I expect something in return for my enthusiasm even if that is not in equal measure to what I’m giving him. I’m in that environment looking for sex and pleasure, and if trick number one is not going to satisfy me, then I move on.

When you’re in his home, with just the two of you, it’s that much harder to think up an excuse to leave, but as the guest it’s easier for you to leave if everything isn’t as you were led to believe. He lives there, so can’t opt out so easily.

Sure, there have been times when I’ve totally devoted my energies to giving my new sex-mate all the selfless pleasure I can muster without expecting anything in return. To totally pleasure him was my conscious decision, so there was no animosity in my actions. As other guys have occasionally totally pleasured me, so I return the pleasure to someone else.

Sometimes online messages and discussions can alert you to the fact that the proposed meeting could be one-sided. This is not always a bad thing.

Take for example

-       an older or more experienced man wants to introduce the inexperienced man to the delights of various forms of pleasuring. It’s an opportunity to give the latter an education through pleasure, learning through experience what it is like to be the centre of attention, to be told to “just relax” and let it all happen -  “you’re in safe and experienced hands and I want you to know how fantastic intense man-to-man pleasuring can be”.  It’s a great opportunity for the experienced and understanding top to help take the fear out of an inexperienced newcomer to anal sex. If the sexual bottom has had a previous painful penetration by another man who thought only of his own quick orgasm and not of the inexperienced partner’s comfort - or the newbie who is fearful of what a large hard penis could do to his virgin hole - then a relaxed, unhurried atmosphere with gentle partial insertions and much lube, can change a whole man’s life. A hundred minute session with such an experienced top who is totally giving to his partner and rides that partner for much of time in a wide variety of positions, is indeed life-changing. It’s the stuff of fantasy, but when it happens it’s amazing. Your head then knows that there is no longer fear of pain and that you can take a man’s penis inside you for an extraordinarily long time if the circumstances are right and you are given the right attention

-       a one-sided meet-up can also be a good time for massage. There are many men who enjoy giving their new man a massage for an hour or so before the pleasuring of each other takes over in a more equal manner. When the man being massaged has been sexually aroused near the conclusion of the massage he will be more than eager to share his body with the delightful man who selflessly gave of his skills and time for the other ones pleasure. Massage is generally negotiated before the meeting so that both parties come to the meet-up knowing how the time together will develop

-       at the bathhouse/sauna you can often find a man who enjoys being in a sling, his anal area presented ready for any and all comers. Many a man will stop and give sling-man a minute or two of pleasure without expecting anything in return. And the same happens to the bottom man who you’ll find spread-eagled in a cubicle awaiting any passing erection that might care to stop and play for a minute or two without any expectations of reciprocal play


After a few hookups with men you will soon know your own limits – those that bring you pleasure and the best means of procuring that pleasure – and conversely you’ll know your level of tolerance towards the lazy, self-centred individual.  When the intention of both partners is agreed upon in advance of the meet-up, then a totally relaxed and sensual time can be had even if the activity is not reciprocal in the usually accepted sexual sense. 


Disclaimer: All advice and information given here on this blog is general in nature and non-specific to any individual, couple or group. You are encouraged to seek your own independent professional medical, psychological and counselling advice. 

For more details about other man-to-man sex issues read
THE VERSATILE HUSBAND by Peter Benn
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paperback only at your favourite online or local bookstore.

"A straightforward, practical guide for men in heterosexual relationships who'd like to explore sex with other men.  Frank, honest and understanding."
Kirkus Reviews


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