At a bathhouse/sauna there is usually a plentiful supply of
men who will want to play with you. So if the partner you have chosen turns out
to be not what was expected then you can excuse yourself with an “I need a
break” and move on. I’ve done this many times with men who give nothing back no
matter how much encouragement you give them. It seems that the more I give in
pleasure the less he feels a need to respond to my needs. I’ve reached a time
of my life when I expect something in
return for my enthusiasm even if that is not in equal measure to what I’m
giving him. I’m in that environment looking for sex and pleasure, and if trick
number one is not going to satisfy me, then I move on.
When you’re in his home, with just the two of you, it’s that
much harder to think up an excuse to leave, but as the guest it’s easier for
you to leave if everything isn’t as you were led to believe. He lives there, so
can’t opt out so easily.
Sure, there have been times when I’ve totally devoted my
energies to giving my new sex-mate all the selfless pleasure I can muster
without expecting anything in return. To totally pleasure him was my conscious
decision, so there was no animosity in my actions. As other guys have occasionally
totally pleasured me, so I return the pleasure to someone else.
Sometimes online messages and discussions can alert you to
the fact that the proposed meeting could be one-sided. This is not always a bad
thing.
Take for example
- an
older or more experienced man wants to introduce the inexperienced man to the
delights of various forms of pleasuring. It’s an opportunity to give the latter
an education through pleasure, learning through experience what it is like to
be the centre of attention, to be told to “just relax” and let it all happen
- “you’re in safe and experienced
hands and I want you to know how fantastic intense man-to-man pleasuring can
be”. It’s a great opportunity for
the experienced and understanding top to help take the fear out of an inexperienced
newcomer to anal sex. If the sexual bottom has had a previous painful
penetration by another man who thought only of his own quick orgasm and not of
the inexperienced partner’s comfort - or the newbie who is fearful of what a
large hard penis could do to his virgin hole - then a relaxed, unhurried
atmosphere with gentle partial insertions and much lube, can change a whole
man’s life. A hundred minute session with such an experienced top who is
totally giving to his partner and rides that partner for much of time in a wide
variety of positions, is indeed life-changing. It’s the stuff of fantasy, but
when it happens it’s amazing. Your head then knows that there is no longer fear
of pain and that you can take a man’s
penis inside you for an extraordinarily long time if the circumstances are
right and you are given the right attention
- a
one-sided meet-up can also be a good time for massage. There are many men who
enjoy giving their new man a massage for an hour or so before the pleasuring of
each other takes over in a more equal manner. When the man being massaged has
been sexually aroused near the conclusion of the massage he will be more than
eager to share his body with the delightful man who selflessly gave of his
skills and time for the other ones pleasure. Massage is generally negotiated
before the meeting so that both parties come to the meet-up knowing how the
time together will develop
- at
the bathhouse/sauna you can often find a man who enjoys being in a sling, his
anal area presented ready for any and all comers. Many a man will stop and give
sling-man a minute or two of pleasure without expecting anything in return. And
the same happens to the bottom man who you’ll find spread-eagled in a cubicle
awaiting any passing erection that might care to stop and play for a minute or
two without any expectations of reciprocal play
Disclaimer: All advice and information given here on this blog is general in nature and non-specific to any individual, couple or group. You are encouraged to seek your own independent professional medical, psychological and counselling advice.
For more details about other man-to-man sex issues read
THE VERSATILE HUSBAND by Peter Benn
e-book and paperback at Amazon.com or
paperback only at your favourite online or local bookstore.
"A straightforward, practical guide for men in heterosexual relationships who'd like to explore sex with other men. Frank, honest and understanding."
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