The Versatile Husband : 2015

Tuesday, 24 November 2015

A Colonoscopy: My Colorectal Cancer Check-up Experience

Recently I was asked by my doctor to undergo a colonoscopy. That is, he wanted me to have a camera inserted up my anal canal and through the large intestine to check out my colon and bowel areas for any potential medical issues that might be lurking there. The camera would be attached to a long flexible tube about the thickness of your finger. Any polyps would be removed so as to stop any growth in to potential cancers. The specialist would also indicate if the prostate was enlarged or causing any issues.

“Nothing serious” my doctor said, “just routine at your time of life” (read: any man over 50).

So why did I wince when he recommended it? After all, anal insertion in to me isn’t foreign to my sexual activities. More likely it was because of the stories I’d heard about the preparation needed on the day before. Perhaps it was because the specialist could actually find something amiss up there. Or was it the talk about anal activity outside of a private sexual encounter and in the bright light of day that made me uncomfortable? And ‘no’ - it wasn’t about having a straight man and his female nursing assistants see me at my most vulnerable. They have a job to do and I’m not prudish in that regard – they are there to make sure that my health is paramount. But you can imagine their conversations over a few drinks about the more unusual patients can’t you!

In the days before the appointment I joked about having something longer than I’d previously encountered inside of me (though disappointed that I didn’t have a choice of width for the instrument). I would be totally sedated for the procedure so I guess it didn’t matter but I was hoping for that warm afterglow feeling when something a little too large has stretched the opening and left its calling card. Would I get a DVD of the journey inside me (I’m slightly curious about having a penis-eye view of what a sexual partner’s cock encounters) – and ‘no’ I didn’t ask for one and wasn’t offered one.

The day before my early Wednesday afternoon procedure was all about cleansing the colon. I had my last meal on the Monday evening, with breakfast and lunch on Tuesday limited to black tea/coffee, poached egg, boiled chicken and/or white bread or toast. As I needed to shed some tummy weight my thoughts about this strict diet were therefore all positive. By 5pm it was time to mix up half the cleansing sachets with water and settle in to drinking 500mls of the mixture within the hour followed by an additional 500mls of water during the next hour. I was surprised how enjoyable the lemon flavoured drink turned out to be and nothing like the chalky white concoction I was expecting. And of course, don’t go far from your toilet for those couple of hours. And I’m here to report that it was nowhere near as dire as the urban myths would have you believe. Between 7 and 10 the next morning I repeated the 1000mls procedure, followed from 10am with nothing at all to eat or drink.

At the hospital where I was to be the patient I was surprised (though shouldn’t have been) that just as many females were having the colonoscopy as were males. I was walked into the procedure room, climbed onto the bed, and for at least the third time answered all their questions about who I was, what I was doing there etc (very thorough). I had also expected to be in some type of stirrup arrangement possibly with my legs held wide open with my buttocks exposed for easy access. Instead I was asked to lie on my side more or less in the foetal position with my arm resting on the bed frame. With a small injection into the back of that hand I was out like a light.

I woke up in the recovery room, had a hot drink and a sandwich, and rested before being collected by my partner. What I noticed was that there was no nice feeling in my anal muscles, no feeling of having been penetrated as I do after good sex. Their professionalism and skills were evident in the way I felt. It was as if I’d just had a short sleep, and with a bit of additional rest in order to get my bearings (I was a bit light-headed from the anaesthetic) I’d be as good as new. The specialist visited and gave me my results - which indicated an ‘all clear’ result - and I was allowed to go home.

I now have this good feeling of KNOWING that my colon and bowel are in great shape and that there are no other hidden internal medical issues in that lower part of my body. The specialist also gave indications about the health of my prostate though he couldn't see it as it is on the other side of the colon lining. And that knowledge is a great feeling to have.

Would I have volunteered to have a colonoscopy without the insistence of my doctor? Probably not. The urban myths, the silence about bowel cancer and lack of knowledge about the procedure, the icky sound of it all, the lack of privacy during the procedure – they would have all kicked in to encourage me to avoid having it.

Don’t let that be you. Bowel and rectal cancer is a huge issue – and potential killer – for any man. I encourage you, particularly if you are over the age of 50, to take charge of your health and find out the state of health of your inner body system.

All photos courtesy of Tumblr

And while you are about it,

- have both a digital rectal examination and a PSA blood test for your prostate, and

- whatever your age, regularly (monthly) check your balls for any unusual lumps. Testicular cancer is also far too common.

Within the last month yet another mature age friend has been diagnosed and operated on for prostate cancer. He joins a long list of partners and friends who this has happened to and as a result their sex lives have often been irrevocably changed. So it does happen far too often in our community and it can happen to any one of us. Early diagnosis of some cancers can mean a complete cure.

So make a medical appointment TODAY and get your balls and bowels and prostate checked out so that you’ll have many more happy sexual years to enjoy.

Disclaimer: All advice and information given here on this blog is general in nature and non-specific to any individual, couple or group. You are encouraged to seek your own independent professional medical, psychological and counselling advice. No endorsement of unlawful actions is intended or implied

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Friday, 9 October 2015

Male Water Sports / Golden Showers

In sexual terminology water sports / golden showers involve the act of urination as part of consensual sexual foreplay.

While this form of sexual play may not be considered mainstream or everyday by most gay or bi men, I am constantly surprised by the interest in the subject. It’s seen by many guys I know as slightly taboo, but ‘I’m up for it if you are’.

Location:

It’s NOT a bedroom activity, so you need a wet area such as a shower recess, a bath or perhaps a secluded outdoor location.

Preparation:

When it’s agreed to be part of sex it should be decided if it’s a one-way spray or that both will take part. That’s important, as a full bladder generally can’t be held back from release too long. Also important is whether one will be ready to perform as soon as he arrives, or will you both drink socially for a period of time before then getting started.

If only one is pissing, and he is arriving for the encounter fully charged, then the other needs to be prepared for an immediate dousing on his arrival by being naked. Holding back a sack full of pee will certainly focus attention to the exclusion of all other thoughts and activities.

Steadily drinking water over a thirty to forty-five minute period seems to be a good basis for a long and steady flow. Beer is good too, and for a fresher taste consume fruit juice.

Have your sex play area also ready, along with several towels at both the urination area and the sex play area.

Playing:

Younger guys will generally have a stronger flow than older men so take this into consideration when choosing your location and how the act(s) will be performed.

- Have your partner stand naked while you pee all over him

- Lick his balls while he sprays your head and shoulders

- Pee on his arse-crack letting the warmth run down over his balls

- Have him squat or be on his knees in front of you in order to shower his body and face including mouth if he is inclined

- Lie on your back in the base of the shower or bath whilst the urinating partner flows it all over you

- If your partner likes the taste, fill his mouth with urine (it’s sterile so no issues there though missing the first squirt that could hold bacteria is a good idea).

Closing your eyes while being sprayed I suggest is also a good idea, though watching a steady warm stream tumble down over your naked body is a turn on to most guys. A feeling of degradation, being humiliated or taking part in a ‘dirty’ act could flash in to your mind, any one of which could satisfy an inner sexual desire.

The feeling of warm piss firstly hitting your excited, expectant body and secondly, flowing over you as he hose-pipes it from your toes to your head, is a feeling like no other. Don’t necessarily expect a spontaneous erection, though that is a possibility.

When you’ve both finished that is the time for mutual body contact. Slip sliding around, skin on skin is a joyful erotic experience. Use your hands to spread the warm golden juice all over your partner, frottage his cock and stomach, embrace him from behind and squirm into each other. Give him oral and taste those last droplets as well as enjoy the new sensational taste remaining on the shaft. Kiss him and taste the erotic remains of the pee on his lips.

For me there’s a delicious feeling of decadence involved in this mutual abandonment of pleasuring. It’s not something talked about in polite conversation, but when you are caught up in the eroticism of abandonment and spreading his warm juice all over you, then don’t be surprised that you could feel the most sexually liberated person on the planet.

You can eventually shower and soap each other in order to prepare yourselves for the continuation of your lovemaking or you can slip off to the bedroom where you have already prepared towels. Two pee-soaked men licking and loving, sucking and fucking is a wild sensation. The pee will quickly dry but you’ll still notice its tang, its aroma and it’s subtle feeling of decadence now planted deep inside your brain where it’s heightening your erotic pleasures. As a result don’t be surprised if you have one of your most uninhibited sexual encounters - ever!

Water Sports for the Single Man:

And if you like the feeling of warm urine against your skin and you’re all alone, then it’s time to pee your pants. While watching porn, eyeing the boys in speedos or being just plain horny, piss away inside your jeans and jocks and feel the erotic pleasures it can give. As it cools the pleasures will subside, but for those few moments of warm liquid intensity it’s a tactile pleasure that can be as intense and enjoyable as any masturbation activity.

All photos courtesy Tumblr

Or if your stream is strong enough, drink your own golden juice.

Water Sports for Groups:

At the extreme end of water sports are the men who like to lie in a trough-like situation where lots of other men can piss on their naked body over an extended period of time. There are dance and sex parties where this happens near the toilets, hence no need for urinals.

If you're on the cusp of wanting to experiment with the slightly kinky or a bit of domination, then consider a water sport experiment as a possible way of easing you and your consenting partner into this new experience. It's safe, fun, tactile and very pleasurable.