Recently I was asked by my doctor to
undergo a colonoscopy. That is, he wanted me to have a camera inserted up my
anal canal and through the large intestine to check out my colon and bowel
areas for any potential medical issues that might be lurking there. The camera
would be attached to a long flexible tube about the thickness of your finger.
Any polyps would be removed so as to stop any growth in to potential cancers.
The specialist would also indicate if the prostate was enlarged or causing any
issues.
“Nothing serious” my doctor said, “just
routine at your time of life” (read: any man over 50).
So why did I wince when he recommended
it? After all, anal insertion in
to me isn’t foreign to my sexual activities. More likely it was because of the
stories I’d heard about the preparation needed on the day before. Perhaps it
was because the specialist could actually find
something amiss up there. Or was it the talk about anal activity outside of a
private sexual encounter and in the bright light of day that made me
uncomfortable? And ‘no’ - it wasn’t about having a straight man and his female
nursing assistants see me at my most vulnerable. They have a job to do and I’m
not prudish in that regard – they are there to make sure that my health is
paramount. But you can imagine their conversations over a few drinks about the
more unusual patients can’t you!
In the days before the appointment I joked
about having something longer than I’d previously encountered inside of me
(though disappointed that I didn’t have a choice of width for the instrument).
I would be totally sedated for the procedure so I guess it didn’t matter but I
was hoping for that warm afterglow feeling when something a little too large has
stretched the opening and left its calling card. Would I get a DVD of the
journey inside me (I’m slightly curious about having a penis-eye view of what a
sexual partner’s cock encounters) – and ‘no’ I didn’t ask for one and wasn’t
offered one.
The day before my early Wednesday afternoon
procedure was all about cleansing the colon. I had my last meal on the Monday
evening, with breakfast and lunch on Tuesday limited to black tea/coffee,
poached egg, boiled chicken and/or white bread or toast. As I needed to shed
some tummy weight my thoughts about this strict diet were therefore all
positive. By 5pm it was time to mix up half the cleansing sachets with water
and settle in to drinking 500mls of the mixture within the hour followed by an
additional 500mls of water during the next hour. I was surprised how enjoyable
the lemon flavoured drink turned out to be and nothing like the chalky white
concoction I was expecting. And of course, don’t go far from your toilet for
those couple of hours. And I’m here to report that it was nowhere near as dire
as the urban myths would have you believe. Between 7 and 10 the next morning I
repeated the 1000mls procedure, followed from 10am with nothing at all to eat
or drink.
At the hospital where I was to be the
patient I was surprised (though shouldn’t have been) that just as many females
were having the colonoscopy as were males. I was walked into the procedure
room, climbed onto the bed, and for at least the third time answered all their
questions about who I was, what I was doing there etc (very thorough). I had
also expected to be in some type of stirrup arrangement possibly with my legs
held wide open with my buttocks exposed for easy access. Instead I was asked to
lie on my side more or less in the foetal position with my arm resting on the
bed frame. With a small injection into the back of that hand I was out like a
light.
I woke up in the recovery room, had a hot
drink and a sandwich, and rested before being collected by my partner. What I
noticed was that there was no nice feeling in my anal muscles, no feeling of
having been penetrated as I do after good sex. Their professionalism and skills
were evident in the way I felt. It was as if I’d just had a short sleep, and
with a bit of additional rest in order to get my bearings (I was a bit
light-headed from the anaesthetic) I’d be as good as new. The specialist visited
and gave me my results - which indicated an ‘all clear’ result - and I was
allowed to go home.
I now have this good feeling of KNOWING
that my colon and bowel are in great shape and that there are no other hidden
internal medical issues in that lower part of my body. The specialist also gave
indications about the health of my prostate though he couldn't see it
as it is on the other side of the colon lining. And that knowledge is a great feeling to
have.
Would I have volunteered to have a
colonoscopy without the insistence of my doctor? Probably not. The urban myths,
the silence about bowel cancer and lack of knowledge about the procedure, the
icky sound of it all, the lack of privacy during the procedure – they would
have all kicked in to encourage me to avoid having it.
Don’t let that be you. Bowel and rectal
cancer is a huge issue – and potential killer – for any man. I encourage you,
particularly if you are over the age of 50, to take charge of your health and
find out the state of health of your inner body system.
 |
| All photos courtesy of Tumblr |
And while you are about it,
-
have both a digital rectal examination
and a PSA blood test for your prostate, and
-
whatever your age, regularly (monthly)
check your balls for any unusual lumps. Testicular cancer is also far too
common.
Within the last month yet another mature
age friend has been diagnosed and operated on for prostate cancer. He joins a
long list of partners and friends who this has happened to and as a result
their sex lives have often been irrevocably changed. So it does happen far too
often in our community and it can happen to any one of us. Early diagnosis of
some cancers can mean a complete cure.
So make a medical appointment TODAY and get
your balls and bowels and prostate checked out so that you’ll have many more
happy sexual years to enjoy.
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A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS: How And Where To Find Your Man
When it is time to have sex with men, you need answers!
Don't f**k up the potentially hottest sex time in your life by not knowing the facts. I'm the ex-married gay man who writes this blog, so I'm sharing my experiences with you in this easy-to-read ebook so that your sex with guys can be brilliant and always available.
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For a plain unidentifiable eBook cover edition go to: http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Plain-Cover-ebook/dp/B009V5AXEI
"A straightforward, practical guide for men in heterosexual relationships who'd like to explore sex with other men. Frank, honest and understanding."Kirkus Reviews
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