The Versatile Husband

Tuesday, 9 September 2014

A Bruised Penis: Jerkoff / Group Masturbation Casualty

Recently a friend discussed with me the fact that he was not available for sex for a few days because he had a bruised penis. My curiosity was piqued. How could this happen?

Photo Copyright Peter Benn

His shaft was black and blue because he had been masturbated by an over-enthusiastic man (read: men) at a jack-off party.

My friend didn't feel pain whilst the wanking was taking place but the next morning when he went to pee he was horrified to see his best friend was looking decidedly different and worse for wear.

Men who have little experience in masturbating other men can sometimes be caught up in the sexual moment and abandon their own gentle wanking technique for speed, enthusiasm, rough handling and intense grip. This rough man-handling can result in broken blood vessels that appear as bruises. Rough handling can also result in the glans at the back of the penis head to become cut, torn or extremely sensitive and sore (this can also happen with bareback anal sex where lubrication was less than desirable or where there were traces of sharp feces remaining).

Photo Copyright Peter Benn

When masturbating another man, keep in mind how you like it yourself.

- use plenty of lubricant

- take time to move up and down the shaft. It's not a race

- avoid using an iron grip. Your man won't want to escape your efforts if you are bringing him pleasure

- be gentle when giving his shaft a twist either clockwise or anti-clockwise

- if you have hard skin or callouses anywhere on the hand use a moisturiser to soften them before commencing play

- cut your fingernails and smooth down any sharp edges

- as mentioned, the most sensitive part of the penis is the glans behind the head so use plenty of lube and gentle movements when playing there

Photo courtesy Tumblr

- he'll cum when he is ready even if this takes a little while longer than you anticipate. Continuing your gentle actions will ensure that he does. If the time becomes protracted and it becomes obvious to either of you that shooting is not going to eventuate there is no shame in simply stopping and having "time out" before recommencing

- a cock being masturbated can sometimes get too much of a good thing and become too sensitive to continue. Be alert to your man's needs and adjust your play to suit, or stop altogether

My friend with the bruising spent almost a week before the bruising went away of its own accord. He suffered no ill-effects or pain, and once his forced abstinence and embarrassment passed he was quickly back on the scene making up for lost time. Fortunately he didn't have a wife to explain it to! He also knew that a bruised black and blue penis would totally shock any potential sex partners into avoiding contact with him, hence the need to make himself sexually scarce.

Photo courtesy Tumblr

If bruising happens to you, seek immediate medical advice on the off-chance that your injury might be more severe than superficial.

And a final note: Don't expect all your partners to shoot a hot load of jizz as the culmination of your efforts. If you don't know your partner's medical history it's possible that a prostate operation has robbed him of the ability to ejaculate. However, he may climax internally. So be aware that seeing ejaculate shooting is not always a pre-requisite to a "happy ending".

Disclaimer: All advice and information given here on this blog is general in nature and non-specific to any individual, couple or group. You are encouraged to seek your own independent professional medical, psychological and counselling advice. No endorsement of unlawful actions is intended or implied

A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS: How And Where To Find Your Man

When it is time to have sex with men, you need answers!

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TALES FROM THE FUR SIDE: Purrfectly Adorable Cat Stories

A collection of entertaining tall tales, and (possibly) true, from the secret lives of cats - as told by the cats themselves! Mischief. Mayhem. History. Heroism. Revenge and Reflection - this is life as lived on the fur side, beyond the prying eyes of humans – where wisdom, adventure and love mix abundantly with mystery, murder and exotic locations. A treat for everyone who shares their life with a cat.

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Wednesday, 20 August 2014

Amsterdam Gay Pride 2014: Gay Acceptance In Action

I have just spent a weekend in Amsterdam, a city that must be one of the most liberal, but also one of the most accepting towards sexual differences.

It was Amsterdam Pride (August 2nd, 2014), that is, a weekend where gay men and women celebrate being who they are. They are out and proud – and they are in party mode. All the sex clubs and bars (and there are many), hold special events for their particular aficionados (like nude nights, leather parties, water sports, etc). There are huge music events in various public places and there is the canal parade where some 80 boats filled with celebrating gay men and women are watched by crowds estimated at over 350,000 gays from all over the world, but also by straight men and women and their families.

This is party time for the whole city. It is well known that gays know how to present the best parties and everyone watching that riot of colour on the canals also enjoyed themselves.

For men who weren’t out sexually, they could see what the gay life could offer them. Parents of gay children could see the happiness that their child’s lifestyle exuded. It needn’t be the lifestyle of fear, loneliness or isolation. Children watching would have left with a sense that to have same sex attracted friends could be an entrée into a fun world of music and partying.

Canal parade participants included the police and fire departments who by their presence made the statement that gay men are everywhere and are just as capable in all professions as men who identify as straight.

As I stood amongst the crowd I felt totally at ease with my sexuality. Even though I identified with the sexuality of the parade performers, it wasn’t about sex or gender or pride – it was about acceptance as human beings.

I was in a happy place where I was surrounded by laughing, singing, whooping, adoring and applauding individuals. We all enjoyed the party music. When prompted by the floats we shared sympathy for our brothers and sisters who were being persecuted because of their sexuality in countries where religions deny the basics humanity and dignity. We enjoyed the party atmosphere.

And no one cared about your sexuality!

Acceptance is bigger than sexuality. Acceptance comes freely and without conditions. There’s no test to pass. No dress code. No age requirement. It’s about unconditional love.

True, Pride events around the world are not always as large or as accepting as Amsterdam (or New York or San Francisco) but if you want to know what it could feel like to be a gay man in a gay world, then these weekends could help you in your own journey to sexual acceptance. Try to attend a Pride Parade as an observer and you’ll be amazed at the diversity of men and their sexual interests.

Here's a link to the world's Pride parades: www.interpride.org/

I found Amsterdam Pride enjoyable, accepting, and above all, empowering. Just for a few hours I knew what it felt like to be unconditionally accepted for who I am - not because I’m a curiosity for being a gay man – but because I’m a unique, fellow human being who also likes a good party and a canal parade. My trait of liking to share sexual interests with another man meant little.

However briefly, may you also in some way, experience that empowerment and acceptance in your own life? It’s like being reborn into a world of possibility!

All photos on this blog are copyright Peter Benn