Does Kissing A Man Make Me Gay? Some Thoughts

To kiss – or not to kiss?  How much of the question is in your mind and how much is a result of genuine feelings?

In a heterosexual straight western world ‘real’ men don’t kiss – or so the social conventions would have us believe. A peck on the cheek of a child or an adult female is generally regarded as not crossing any behavioural barriers.  Male sportsmen can hug – but not kiss when reacting to a positive sporting result as kissing would be an affront to the masculine image that heterosexual society maintains.

I’m curious as to why when a husband decides it’s time to play sexually with a man, the partners decide early on about their approach to sex and who will top and/or bottom - yet they can be very indecisive about kissing.

A straight man brings with him two things to that sexual liason:

-       social conditioning baggage that says that two men being intimate, through kissing, is reprehensible and in straight society’s eyes – wrong!

-       the mindset that kissing is something that immediately puts you in to the media stereotype that says only effeminate gay men kiss. As a straight man you tell yourself that you don’t want that label (Question: Who will actually give you that label? I suspect, only yourself!)

You probably intend to kiss his nipples, wrap your whole mouth around his penis and suck him, and possibly rim his anus.

Therefore lips-to-lips seems a tame sexual activity compared to these mouth induced pleasures. Remember how enjoyable deep kissing your wife-to-be was when you were in the height of your romantic period. Deep, warm, sensual, long, passionate, delectable and with every movement it sent a message to your penis that made you even hornier. It’s the same with a man – the same sexual tension, the same sensuality and the same warmth.

All that has got in the way is your mindset – a ‘no kissing’ policy is really just your attitude to the conditioning that you think your society expects of you. And by adopting this attitude you’ll miss embracing the passion, the energy and the pleasure this intimacy can bring.

Don’t label yourself. Whatever you enjoy in the way of sexual activities is right for you. Don’t try to live what you imagine society’s ideal man to be. Be yourself – a sexual man who doesn’t carry the baggage of society’s labels like gay, bi or straight.

Whether you kiss or not, let it be a spontaneous reaction to the man you’re with.